This past week I had the opportunity to perform the funeral services of a my father-in-law and good friend, Doug Naymik. This is the message that I gave at his funeral 4-26-2010. My prayer is that when we experience death in our lives and families that it would ignite fire in our hearts for people who need to know Christ. I know that it has for me.
There is a lot of lying that goes on at most funerals. We talk about the good that people have done and tend to pass over who they really were. It’s a privilege for me to give this message today in celebration of Doug’s life, and know that I don’t have to gloss over the truth. It is good to know that the things we will talk about, celebrate, and remember about Doug today are not just little pieces of good that shone through on rare occasions, they are the fabric of the type of man that Doug was, and that he lived like every day.
So, what do we do on a day like today? I have been asking myself that question over these last few days. What do we do? And I started to think….well….what would Doug want us to do? If it was up to him we would probably all be around a camp fire with a Pabst in one hand, good steaks on the grill, games of ladder golf going, and the soft undertones of oldies coming from the radio just loud enough that you could hear it, but not so loud that you couldn’t hold a conversation.
What do we say on a day like today? What would Dougie say? This is the question I have thought most about. What would Doug want me to say to you all today?
There is a song that I have been listening to called Breathe Deep. The song reminds me of Doug. The lyrics says this.
Breathe Deep, Breathe deep moments like these, treasure to keep.
Listen close, look long – Breathe Deep.
Doug was always working on something but he was never hurried. I can still here is voice, “easy – slow down – relax.” He enjoyed life. He took time to stop and smell the roses. He loved his wife, loved his family a friends, made time for people, never asked for much, and enjoyed the little things. I think one of the things that Doug would want me to say today is, Breathe Deep. Life is short – easy – slow down – relax – breathe deep.
Philippians 2:3-4 says this – “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
There is an old saying about good friends that “you can call them in the middle of the night if you needed something and they would be right there.”
When it comes to Doug you could have been 200 miles away, in a snow storm, broke, in the middle of the night, after a full day of work – and Doug would show up. What I loved so much was that Doug’s humble spirit wasn’t an effort for him – it was who he was. He truly did consider others more important than himself. Regardless of how he felt, he would sit with me under a leaky faucet, an oily car, or a clogged PVC pipe until we got done, and I know that many of you have experienced the same thing.
Philippians 2 goes on to say this – Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Act this way, just like Jesus. Who, though he was God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
You see, though Doug was a great example to us all of humility and servanthood, the ultimate example of this is Jesus. He made the choice to think of us before himself. He didn’t have to leave Heaven and come and die for us, but He did. Doug never owed me anything. Doug didn’t owe any of us anything. He wasn’t paying off a debt. Doug was simply loving us the best way that he knew how.
And in the same way, Jesus didn’t owe us anything. He didn’t come to make good on a debt that he owed. He came to make good on a debt that we owed to God. In our sin and selfishness and lying and pain-causing and rebellion, we create a debt for ourselves that we cannot pay. But Jesus, being rich in mercy, because of his great love for us chose to come and be slaughtered on a cross to pay our debt to asked him if he heard God so that we can taste Heaven.
Doug was never one for religion. I would guess that much of that came from him seeing hypocritical people who claimed to be one thing and then acted a different way. But in Dougs last few days here on earth, many of us spent that time speaking these words of truth in his ears. We talked to him about forgiveness, Jesus love for us, and how by accepting that forgiveness that he would be able to see heaven.
God gave us a special gift in that Wednesday morning Doug responded to Linda and Mary with small squeezes of his hand. They talked to him about Jesus and asked if he had heard everything we had been saying over the past few days about God and heaven. Doug answered with a squeeze of the hand and a single tear that came from his eye.
I believe in my heart that Doug is in heaven with Jesus today. He didn’t get there because he was a nice guy, or a good friend, or a humble spirit. He didn’t get there by working hard or going to church. He got here because Jesus paid a debt for him that Doug could not pay, and we believe that in that hospital bed Doug accepted that gift.
So…back to the question. What would Dougie say? I think after all he has been through, the hard times and fun times. Through doubt and love, through pain and laughs. In the midst of all the memories that Doug has made with so many of us, I think that Doug would want me to say something to the affect of, “Make sure to let all my friends and family know that Jesus is real, his forgiveness is real, and life on this earth is only the beginning
